10 Days to a Happier You!
“Where am I going wrong? Why aren’t I happy?” These are questions I hear over and over.
Society has programmed us through years of advertising that we need to buy the new shoes, build the house, get the promotion, achieve that next big thing and when we do, we will be happy. The problem is that happiness doesn’t come from external things. When we focus externally, on success or attainment as a means to achieve happiness we always fall short. Can you remember when you first moved out of home? You were excited to be out on your own, woohoo, then excitement wavered as reality kicked in. Then you start to work toward that next milestone. Maybe that’s moving from the 1 bedroom flat into the 2 bedroom flat, then the house, then it’s buying your first house, then its buying a bigger house, then the pool. It goes on and on. None of these things provide us with true happiness yet we keeping striving for the next one in hopes that this one will be the one.
The initial feeling you have when you achieve these milestones, the fleeting excitement or sense of achievement comes from a hit of dopamine that your brain creates. This chemical reaction only lasts for seconds or maybe minutes. As this hit of dopamine is short lived, we keep going back looking for more. Dopamine is addictive. It’s associated with novelty seeking behaviour and drives one toward goals and adventure. It’s similar to social media, getting a like on facebook gives you a hit. So you keep checking it, hoping for another like and another hit.
creates a change in the molecule, so is much longer lasting, such as months or years. Oxytocin is released through social relationships and connection with others. Hugging a close friend can release oxytocin.
So how do we move from dopamine to serotonin to oxytocin? Which creates a change in the molecule, it is much longer lasting, such as months or years. Oxytocin is released through social relationships and connection with those around us. Hugging a close friend can release oxytocin.
Well that brings us to 10 things you can do on a daily basis which will assist you to be a more joyful, happier you, through connection:
Reflect on the last 24 hours and write down what the best part of the previous day was. Write down what was so great about it. How you felt. Who you were connecting with. What you felt, saw and heard. What you most appreciated about this situation. The more detail the better.
Smile from your heart, at every person that walks past you in a day.
When interacting with anyone throughout the day, end each interaction with a positive intent. For example saying “Have a great day”.
Once per day write a note/email to someone in your life saying thank you for ….. or I really appreciated it when you……. Try to choose a different person each day.
Take a few minutes each day just to be outside and take in the scenery. Go for a short stroll in the garden, smell the roses or lay on the grass and look up at the clouds.
Notice things your partner and children are doing that you love and let them know you appreciate it.
Do small random acts of kindness everyday.
Eat dinner at the table as a family (no technology allowed), just good old fashion conversation. You could ask others what the best part of their day was. Listen and be present with each other.
Hug the people you care about and I mean really hug them, none of this one arm, floppy crap. A proper embrace and feel the love as you do this.
Laugh as often as you can. It’s contagious.
You are a choice away from a new beginning and a
commitment away from a new life!!
It all starts with YOU!
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Inspired by: Dr Ash Ranpura - How to be Human