Jobs Are Like Relationships
Do you have a funny story about pushing at the wrong door until you fell flat on your face? Maybe it wasn't funny at the time but now you can look back and laugh…
If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.
How many times have we all struggled to manipulate situations and relationships to try and make them work out, our way?
How many times have we tried to manage people and things over which we had no control? Put your hand up if you've done anything like this, once or a hundred times.
We can sometimes receive the result we desire if we try as hard as we can, if we are forceful or persistent enough. Or so we believe... But how many of us have had the experience of achieving our intended result for a period of time just to have it backfire on us? What causes this to happen?
If the door doesn't open or if keeping it open requires too much manipulation, plotting, or control, it's not the door we're supposed to go through. And it's wiser to cut our losses and focus on what we can control rather than what we can't.
Have you heard that expression; ‘trying to fit a square peg into a round hole’? No matter how hard we force it, it just doesn't fit. Careers are the same! Just because you went to university or you have been doing this job for years. Doesn’t mean you fit.
Maybe it's not your door, after all.
This is a world where people have free will. We all have the ability to choose. Every nanosecond we are alive, everyone of us making choices. Even choosing not to choose, is a choice.
So, how do you find the right door?
It’s kind of like dating. We don’t date everyone we meet. We know straight away if we want to get to know someone better. It’s the same when we read a job ad. It feels interesting and fun or it makes you want to swipe left immediately.
The ones that are interesting, you look into some more, but only to the point that your gut say’s keep going. As soon as your gut starts to um and argh, it’s time to swipe left.
I must note here that your ‘Gut’ and your ‘Ego’ are two different things. Your Gut is your intuition. Where as your Ego is your fear and doubt… So make sure your listening to the right one.
Just like dating, a few job ads will end up in a first date, maybe you have a chat over the phone, maybe you meet over zoom or maybe you catch up in person. And just like a first date you get to know more about the job, the people, the baggage…. Some dates go well, some not so well. But with every date you are getting clearer on what you want and what you don’t want.
Occasionally we start a course or a job thinking that this is what we wanted. Maybe it fell into place so easily and felt so right - but then it starts to feel wrong. That’s ok, you didn’t get it wrong. You just have a chance to choose again. Remember sometimes you go on 3 or 4 dates before you decide that person is not for you. Sometimes it takes a few months or longer…..
The great thing about all this dating is that you are learning and growing and becoming clearer on what you want and what you don’t want. Which also means you are getting closer to finding it.
The only time going through the wrong door is an issue, is when you refuse to leave, which stops you from choosing a better door.
Move from:
Unfulfilled and unsatisfied in your career, to creating a career you love
From struggling to get out of bed, to being inspired and passionate about what your day may hold
From feeling stuck with no ‘out’ insight to having clarity and direction which pulls you forward
Following our dreams is how we bring happiness, purpose, and fulfillment to our career and our everyday living.
Want to know more about my experience of being exactly where you are? And how I managed to break free and create a career I love…..